Friends

Time: 0218

Date: May 1, 2009

Venue: Home

Sorry for not uploading these earlier. I don’t know. Suddenly I feel like I need to write something in English. Whenever I feel like killing somebody or crying of something, I’ll try to express my feelings in English. Just that I don’t know to whom I’m gonna talk to, or even look at when my heart feels uneasy.

These days, all the things which happened have taught me lots of important values in a relationship which all human beings need to have; friendship. I finally get to understand that friendship and love is something that we cannot work out for any comparison. Love, is something that we’ll prefer to end when we found out that there’s no way in solving problems. Friendships, on the other hand, will try to assist us in any way in solving complex problems.

Sometimes, I can’t even understand why, when and how love can destroy friendships. During this semester alone, I’ve been destroying my own friendships twice just for one reason; unrequited love. Love will be much painful if it is unrequited – everybody knows that. Even though sometimes we know that by doing love confessions, it may cause a sense of ‘awkwardness’ between two parties: the one who confessed and the one who received the confession.

In highlights, there are only two end situations after friends fail to be lovers.

- They feel extremely awkward and decide to not talk to each other comfortably. Slowly, the friendship will start to fade off.

- They try to forget everything and assume that the confession never happens. They will end up showing hypocrisy in their eyes and the hypocrisy will fade. They are back as friends again.

The second one, however, deals with great pain and triumph. That’s why the number one, on the other hand, happens in major cases.

As for me, I ended up being in the first case. Yup, sometimes I miss her damn much. I even regret telling her about my feelings. And after seeing what have happened, I put a thought of having her as my friend again deep inside me. The progress? 0%. That’s all I can say. I feel so pathetic of myself.

I just wanna say something to her, only one thing : ‘It’s okay that you’ve rejected me, but please don’t stay away from me. It only made this scar deeper. It’s my fault, I know; but at least give me some space fixing it back.’