Friends

Time: 0218

Date: May 1, 2009

Venue: Home

Sorry for not uploading these earlier. I don’t know. Suddenly I feel like I need to write something in English. Whenever I feel like killing somebody or crying of something, I’ll try to express my feelings in English. Just that I don’t know to whom I’m gonna talk to, or even look at when my heart feels uneasy.

These days, all the things which happened have taught me lots of important values in a relationship which all human beings need to have; friendship. I finally get to understand that friendship and love is something that we cannot work out for any comparison. Love, is something that we’ll prefer to end when we found out that there’s no way in solving problems. Friendships, on the other hand, will try to assist us in any way in solving complex problems.

Sometimes, I can’t even understand why, when and how love can destroy friendships. During this semester alone, I’ve been destroying my own friendships twice just for one reason; unrequited love. Love will be much painful if it is unrequited – everybody knows that. Even though sometimes we know that by doing love confessions, it may cause a sense of ‘awkwardness’ between two parties: the one who confessed and the one who received the confession.

In highlights, there are only two end situations after friends fail to be lovers.

- They feel extremely awkward and decide to not talk to each other comfortably. Slowly, the friendship will start to fade off.

- They try to forget everything and assume that the confession never happens. They will end up showing hypocrisy in their eyes and the hypocrisy will fade. They are back as friends again.

The second one, however, deals with great pain and triumph. That’s why the number one, on the other hand, happens in major cases.

As for me, I ended up being in the first case. Yup, sometimes I miss her damn much. I even regret telling her about my feelings. And after seeing what have happened, I put a thought of having her as my friend again deep inside me. The progress? 0%. That’s all I can say. I feel so pathetic of myself.

I just wanna say something to her, only one thing : ‘It’s okay that you’ve rejected me, but please don’t stay away from me. It only made this scar deeper. It’s my fault, I know; but at least give me some space fixing it back.’

Just a short note

Thru out this hectic study week, a lot of things happened.. And yeah, some of them are nice, and some don't even need to be thought of.. And here, i want to tell a story about me and one of my bestie..

Ak knal die ni pun waktu a week after MMS last sem.. Ak tgah online waktu tu.. Tibe2 dgar ade org ktuk pintu byk2 kali kt luar rumah.. So, ak pun merajinkan la diri utk pergi tgok spe.. Rpe2nye H(bkn huruf sebenar) tgah struggle ketuk pintu umah die..

"Nape? xleh bkak pintu ke?" *bodohnye soalan ni*
"Haah.. housemate ak ade dlm ni.. tp die tido lak.."
"eheh.. ade lubang la atas tombol ni.. ni mesti bekas tombol lame kn.. jap ek.. Along!!"

*Along dtg*

"Nape ni?"
"Ni haa.. pintu dia xboleh bkk.. terkunci dari dalam.."

nak pendekkan citer, kitorg berjaya pulas tombol tu gne belt ak.. so H pun masukla umah dy ngn happynye.. huhu..

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Aku happy giler dpt knal ngn die ni.. kitorg mmg satu kpale la.. slalu suke lahar2 sesame sdiri.. n we were soo addicted klu nk gossiping bout others.. *wink*.. klu time dak TEKA takde ke, kitorg mmg akn kumpul ssme and borak2 laa.. sbab kt aras tu mmg kitorg je yg tggl klu dak TEKA pegi induction and whatsoever..

Oh yeah.. Die ni dak klas D.. Ooo.. Bru la ak tau.. Ye la da ak ni dak klas E, sah2 la balik2 farid, rudy n syah je yg ak nmpk.. huhu.. die ni rajin gile tau naik rumah atas.. nk blaja, nk tido sme.. ak pun stat pelik.. oo.. rumah classmate dy rpenye.. klu xsilap ak, nme die A.. mke A ni mmg jenis nk mkn org la.. ak pun tkot nk tgur dy mle2.. mke pun ala2 xnk igt je.. ahaha.. dalam rumah tu ade Hk, D, R, I, M.. Dorg mmg friendly.. sometimes we even ended up talking kt balcony.. sakit tengkuk ak sbab balik2 ak yg kne dongak ke atas.. dorg cool je.. *Ouch* tp tu sme mmg best la.. at least ak ade gak la member akaun kn..

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Kenangan yang xdpt dilupakan bersama H

1. Kitorg sme2 pegi mlm kesatria.. duduk smeja.. mmg best la.. klu x, sah2 ak xtau nk lepak ngn spe..

2. Kitorg mengumpat kat balkoni umah.. ade jugak citer2 antu.. uuuuu..

3. kitorg g study ssme kt BK ngn Hk..

4. Kitorg grak g koku kesat ssme..

5. Kitorg join Karaoke Competition ssme..

6. Kitorg g SACC, K-box, PAS, PKNS, sme same2 la..

A lot of things happened between kitorg yg mmg merapatkn friendship kitorg.. nk tulis xlarat la.. huhu..

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Kenangan yg xdpt dilupakan bersama A

1. Kitorg duk satu khemah kat Kesatria Camp.. time tu ak xtringat lak die ni kwn H.. So ak just bhsekn diri die as Nyah je.. huhu.. *bukan ak yg stat dulu!! hehe..*

2. pernah terkantoi ngn dy pki underwear n TShirt je.. Cmni.. ak tgah borak2 ngn H dlm bilik H.. pastu tibe2 ak sakit prot.. ak pun lari2 la msuk rumah ak.. gne toilet.. pastu, suar ak bsh.. terkena air.. so need to change lorh.. then time nk bkk loker, nk cari suar tu.. bru ak tringat yg kunci loker ak ad kt bilik H.. Tertinggal time borak2 td.. So nk xnk, kne la pegi umah dy nk amik balik kunci tu.. Tanpa disedari, ak bru je nk melangkah keluar from my house, terserempak dgan A, yg sme jugak nk pegi umah H.. Terkejut ak, trus sorok belakang pintu.. Sambil wat mke ala2 muslimah tu, tros la cover cun.. huhu.. last2, ak mintak tolong Hanis amikkn kunci tu.. Thanx hanis!! huhu..

ngn A pun byk memori yg xmungkin ak lpekn..

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tapi....

baru2 ni

ak ngn H gaduh sikit..

eh, x.. gaduh byk....

lahar2 yg die bagi kat ak sme nye berbentuk super duper sarcastic..

sometimes ak try learning that it might be his own way of joking..

but, it had been happening thru out the 2nd term..

i was painful inside..

i dun wanna show..

sbab ak tau friends love their friends..

tp

kate org sme individu ade limitnye..

ak xthn lg..

cukupla ko menganjing ak..

most of the time..

dpan classmate..

dpan friends..

dpan org yg ak ske dr last sem lg..

cukuplah sme tu...

i started to avoid you..

ak lebih byk ckp dgan A..

dgan R & I..

Sbab dorg xkn menganjing ak..

maybe ad sarcastic words yg dorg bg, but i m pretty sure it means nothg but a joke..

n u

keep torturing me mentally..

tp ak diam je.. i dun wanna hurt u..

maybe ko akan jd balik mcm H yg ak knal dlu.. i hope for that always..

n now, everything kitorg dah settlekn..

thru a 'konferensi' session, pretty much similar to 'round table' concept

tp, after all the pain i've been thru, my heart needs a great deal of time to heal..

i've been crying for you more than 10 times..

thats enuff for now..

somehow, someday, i still hope that we'll be back like how we used to be..

the chatters

the laughters

the singing voice

the dance steps

all those memories are very damn valuable..

those memories seem incomplete without you..

no matter how bad the things you do to me..

WE'RE FRIENDS FOREVER......

*cry*

Hello Dear.. Are you all with me..? Good...

YES!!

Berkat usaha ak yg tak berbelah bagi, ak berjaya get rid of my Chinese accent..
Dush!!

By the way, monday ni ade listening test for BEL260..
Wishing for the best..

Sarcastically, hopefully my pleasant accent of Britain will not abide to any Chinese influence.. I had enough suffer during my faux pas time back then..
*cube baca in British*

I LOVE Puan Nihlah for giving me back my British accent!! Muah~

*signing off*

I don't know you anymore...

Loved you once

And it hurts

Facing you made it worse

Thought you were glad we didn't make it together

And so was I..


But now...

I know that you were right

Maybe deep in your heart back then..

You knew that you'd put a big scar 'here'

again and again


I am totally not putting the blame on you

It's the real you, indeed

Hope you're happy

Always

and

One thing i wanna say..

I know you no more..........

I'm not jealous!

When i said im not jealous,

YES, indeed..

I AM jealous..

You got the opportunity to get that 'thing' more..

And you just knew that I needed it more than you do..

So, why bother bragging about it to me...??

Shuh! Shuh! Go away!!

Because

that 'thing' is

the attention or even the love from that very own person..............

It's priceless..

H-sshi
(Yeongwonhi Norul Saranghae)

Taufiq's 19 Birthday (part 2)

Written at 9.00 pm, 06 Feb 09

Ak try call Taufiq byk kali tp xdpt.. Maybe sebab kedit kot.. So ak pinjam la hp Meiy, nak call lg skali.. But, again, unreachable.. Ak fikir, xpe la.. Maybe line trok kot kat tmpt dowg.. Tiba-tiba, Hp Meiy ringing.. Taufiq call.

Aku : Helo.. Taufiq, ko katne?

Taufiq : Meiy, Meiy kat rumah ke?

Aku : Haah, kat rumah. Korang katne?

Taufiq : Meiy, kitorg kat Sunway ni.. Jangan bgtau Chu tau kitorg klua g Sunway..

Aku : Oh, OK *sedey*

(Suara ak n Meiy adalah 90% same in phone)

Hati ak cam kena pijak byk kali.. Sakit.. Ak start fikir kat mane salah ak.. Npe dorg xajak ak g klua skali? Nape? Ak annoying korg ke? Nape nak sorok dr aku lak? klu xnak ajak cakapla, jgn tpu.. Kan ak da ckp, klu kita tau yg seseorg tu tpu, rase dy lg sakit compared to klau kite xtau lgsung..

Ak just diam je.. Xlarat nk pikir lg.. Ak just tau yg ak akn masak jugak spaghetti tu sbb da jnji ngn Taufiq.. Janji mesti fulfill.. that's my prinsip.. Ak masak spaghetti tu cam bese.. Even tho some tears jatuh jugak ke pipi, ak stay cool je.. My head keeps running pasal mende ni.. Taufiq call Meiy, dy tny Meiy sentap ke dgan dorg sbb kua x ajak..

Meiy : Eh, takla.. Meiy ok je.. Td tu Chu yg call gne HP i.. Yg u pegi ckp camtu ngn Chu nape?

*yg selebihnya ak tak tau*

Meiy cakap reason dorg kua xajak ak is nak wat surprise, sbb Taufiq nk bli cake.. Plus ak tgah tdo, so xnk ganggu..

HOLY SHIT!! Nape nak surprise ak plak? Birthday ak ke Taufiq? Ak ni bad cake chooser ke? Ak ni wat berat keta Hamzi ke? Ak tido? Huh! Macam la xpenah ajak ak kua time ak tga tdo! Ak da tggl ngn korg lebih dr satu sem la.. Korg igt ak xtau ke prangai korg n excuse2 yg korg akn gnekan bile org sentap ngn korg? Korg fikir ak bodo ke? Tolongla stop trial nk tpu2 ak.. Korg just wat diri korg nmpk lebih bodoh je tau x..

Btw, janji ak da setel.. Ak da siapkan spaghetti yg ak janji.. Wat la aku truk mcm mne skali pun, klu da jnji, ak mesti fulfill..

aku xsgke korg mcm ni.. Ak xpena pilih kawan.. Ak xpena pndg korg lower than me.. Tp nape korg wat ak cmni? Ak tunjuk minat kt setiap aktiviti yg korg wat, so dat ak lebih fhm korg.. Akk xnak jd mcm Chu yg dulu.. Kerek, pdiam, sombong.. Tp bila korg da bentuk aku mcm ni, npe korg reject ak plak? Klau ak ni tgok kawan, ak xde reason nk kwn ngn korg.. Better ak duduk serumah ngn dak2 acc yg lain.. Tp ak syg korg, dats why ak brani jd one and only dak Acc kat rumah ni.. Korg lak, slalu pandang rendah kat aku.. Buta seni la, Underaged la.. Every opinion ak korg mesti xnk pki.. Reason, chu trying to be someone matured, Chu berlgak mcm tua.. Sial! Aku ni xley pki ke? Ak ni hina sgt ke? Umur ak ni pghlg ke bg korg??






Ak da xkesa sume tu.. Ok.. Klu korg rse ak xlyk jd part of korg pny life, i noe exactly what to do.. An Acc student could nvr b like a TEKA, not even a TEKAUN..

Taufiq's 19 Birthday

Written at 6.00 pm, 6 feb 09

Hari ni ak bersmangat giler.. Da janji ngan Taufiq nak masak Bolognnaise sebab hari ni birthday dy yg ke 19! Barang-barang xbeli lg.. Huh..

Tp.. Naseb baik arini cuma ada klas Stats je.. Pastu free.. So pas klas je, ak tros nek moto ngn Syahril g MyDin kat bkt jelutong.. Huhu.. Thanx Syah sbb teman ak!! *wink*

Smpi je kat MyDin, ak g la kat ruangan sos sme tu.. Ak grab la one big bottle of Dolmio Mushroom, n beli Fetuccine.. Then, straight g ruangan frozen stuff. Niat di hati nak beli Meatball, tapi sbb harga yang mahal nak mampos, ak bli Chicken Frank je.. Hoho.. Jadila ek..

Imagine 12 meatballs = RM9.80 and 10 franks = RM 2.70

I LOVE THOSE FRANKS MORE!! LOL

Pas shopping, ak n Syah g makan kat kdai mamak, (xbreakfast lg eventho dah 11++) huhu.. Then g cucuk dwet kat Petronas station..

Waktu journey balik Puncak, ak n Syah mmg best gler la.. My first experience riding on a bike with a speed of 110 km/h ++!! Gosh! Xbley bygkan la rasa dy.. Huu.. Kat Cahaya SPK yg berhantu lak tu.. Mmg brani kn kitorg ni..

Balik je, ak tdo.. (Huu.. Xpegi Jumaat.. Astaga) Terjaga dlm pukul 5.30.. Lame giler r tdo.. Then g wat laundry.. Hamzi, Hanis, n Taufiq xde.. G mane tah.. Then naik je tros call Taufiq, nk tanya balik pukul bape, but unreachable.. Ak pun fikir nvmd la.. Huhu.. Tggu la dorg balik..

Agak2 camni x rupa bentuk Bolognnaise ak nnt?