Who am I?

Hari ni selepas membantu mak di gerai, aku didatangi oleh seorg gadis ketika aku sedang sibuk mengenakan helmet dan bersedia untuk pulang..

Ttbe..

Gadis itu bertutur dalam Bahasa Mandarin yg sgt laju dan aku mula tergaru2 helmet sendiri..

Aku membuat muka kehairanan dan berkata..

我们不是华人了。 (Wo men bu shi hua ren le.)
=> I'm not chinese.

Gadis itu membuat muka pelik pula. Mestilah, kata bukan cina, tp ckp cina plak.. Haissh..

Aku mula menjelaskan keadaan dan berkata..

我是 malai 人。 (Wo shi malai ren.)
=> I'm malay..

Gadis itu tersenyum dan mula bertutur dalam bahasa Melayu..

Oh, rupanya dia nak minta sumbangan untuk malam kebudayaan UM..

Aku meminta RM5 dari Syafiq, adikku lalu kuberi padanya.

That makes me ponder for a lil while,
'How much of me is Chinese, and how much is Malay inside me? Am i more to chinese or malay?'

p/s: i can't be both at the same time..

It's the Semester Break!!

Selepas sem 3 yg sgt memenatkan ini tamat, saya rasa sungguh2 best dan seronok.. (Sugohashimnida!) Boleh lepak rumah lama2 dan jumpa kawan2 lama..

Sedang aku sibuk mencuci pinggan di dapur, Mak ttbe tanya camni..

"Bila kau nak masak untuk aku ni, Dik..?"

Aku tersentak. Oh yeah.. Belajar memasak ialah satu drpd plan aku sepanjang cuti ni.. Sambil membetulkan sarung tangan getahku, aku membalas..

"Oh haah.. Adik dah bgtau mak dah yg adik nak belajar masak.. Ok2.. Camni.. Esok sabtu ptg mak jgn masuk dapur eh.. Adik nak buat cake.. Mak jgn kacau tau! ;) "

Aku terus mencapai sekeping roti Butterscotch dan trus menuju ke bilik.

Mak membuatkan aku teringat kepada plan2 aku untuk cuti ni.. Antaranya ialah:

1. Mendptkan Lesen keta.. (my L is in progress.. wee~)
2. Mengajar Syafiq Maths, Science, n English for PMR.. (siap ko Capik!! haha)
3. Belajar bahasa Mandarin.. (Ingat nak pegi kelas, tapi sbb nk jimat, ak cume download nota-nota from website, with audio skali.. Hopefully leh cope la)
4. Tidak merindui dia.. (Hah, yg ni awal2 lg dah surrender sbab asyik2 bkk facebook die.. Oww shit!)
5. Nak pegi genting dgan my bestie, Lan.. (Lan, cpat la balik!! Takya la jawab paper UMS ko tu.. huhu)
6. Nk ubah imej.. (Tungguuu....)
7. Nk belajar masak.. From lunch smpi ke delicacies like cakes n stuff (Actually ni sme dah berkarat sbb lama tak masak.. Nk kne gilap balik ni.. Haissh..)
8. Nk melengkapkan ilmu tarian.. List lagu dah siap da.. Huhu..
9. Nk menghabiskan novel yg tergendala..

Byk kn plan di atas..? Hik hik..

Dan juga nk ucapkan salam rindu n Good Luck for my ex-housemates i.e Taufik, Hanis n Hamzi yg akan stay di Puncak sepanjang cuti.. If aku ade masa free, i'll jenguk u guyz, eh? Wink!!

Juga kepada member akaun yg giler besh.. Amir Zakuwan, Hazuan Hamdan, Iffa, Alyana n the gang, n HAIKAL ANUAR.

Juga kepada bakal housemate ku.. Mimi Pipu, Wak Din, Acap n err.. Sapa eh nama die? Huhu~

Juga kepada housemate x jadi sem 2, i.e Izzat Anuar, Rizal Aziz, Danial Faris, Zulfadhli Roslee, n Meor Mustaqim..

To my classmates in 3D.. (sorry xlarat nak taip sme.. Jumpe in AC1104D!)

And all my friends in Branches.. Syah, Nad, Hani, Faeza, Faisya.. Sme la eh~

WISHING ALL OF YOU GOOD LUCK! (tak sabar nye nk dpt result.. Someone's gonna cry lah for sure kn..)

sayang Ana

Last Friday, I received a text message during my law lecture, which says:

“Erin, sabrina jatuh motor dkat dpan blok 33.”

Sort of. I ignored my lecturer and called my lil bro, Syafiq. I was surprised to know that my lil sister, Sabrina was on her way back home when I was calling. Syafiq told me that Sabrina had a severe tear on her cheek, elbow, and her left calf. I was angry at that time, so I ended up talking bad bout her. What nuisance she is, and sort of.
On Saturday, I went back home, completely forgotten about her accident. I was shocked to see her face with cottons and plasters. They covered almost half of her face. I wasn’t curious about the wounds actually, until when she opened that plasters.

My heart SANK.

I’ve never cared about her. I focused more on Syafiq and couldn’t be bothered on Sabrina. Looking at her injuries make my heart feeling like trampled into pieces. My mom told me that she wasn’t alone. She was riding the bike, and her two friends were riding pillion. One of her friends got hurt on the thigh and the other broke her little finger. But still, the worst happened to Sabrina.

I just couldn’t stop from blaming myself more.

Long Time No See

Dah lama x tulis blog ni.. Maafkan aku, blog.. aku cuma jd busy sgt sejak2 akhir ni..

hari ni aku jadi a lil bit tak keruan.. urm.. bukan apa, cuma aku sedih sbb bersaing dgan org yg aku syg.. mmg nmpk sgt ade fighting spirit between us just now.. nvmd.. sekurang-kurangnya, aku ada excuse by now utk erase feelings ni skit2..

kepada org itu: kamu berjaya membuatkan aku utk lebih menghormati kamu..

Pulling and pushing me all over

Bila dah selalu jumpa, rasa gembira sangat.. Bibir tak berhenti senyum..

Tapi kenapa bila dah tak jumpa, rasa kosong je?

Bukankah perasaan tu dah tak ada?

Lost in my Senses

Hari ni merupakan hari yang sgt dull and boring.. Nothing much really happened.. Tidak seperti biasa, senyuman aku hari ni sangat2 palsu, rasa macam nak tampar diri sendiri je..

"Chu, why u look so sad..?" Iffa tanya. Shit! Obvious ke? Ak da try my best utk senyum n riang always.. Mata ak menggambarkan semua ke? Hope not.. Klu tak, ber'shade' la ak pasni..

Balik kelas LAW, ak tros baring sambil online n tgok harry potter series.. Tekak sakit, badan lemah (maybe sbab dah lama skip meals kot) n ssh nak gerak..

Eventho jari ligat menaip keys di laptop, fikiran ntah ada kat mana.. Tuhan je yg tau..

Fikiran jadi bercampur baur.. Nak study, rasa mcm mental kena block.. FAR250 mmg btul2 mencekik perasaan n minda.. bukan ssh, cuma xde hati nak buat.. (100% malas)

tibe2 ak terdiam n fikir mendalam.. ni ke yg ak nak slama ni? mmg kat sini ke tmpat ak? if ak da mula refuse to study skarg, how will my degree be then?

*recap*
Abah: Boleh ke adik buat benda yang adik xminat?
Aku : Boleh laa bah.. Nak buat mcm mana.. Akaun pun akaun je la.. Adik xkesah..

Sampai skarg i try to convince myself that God has sumthg for me here.. Sumthg good.. Hope that will come out any sooner..

MKT baca xmasuk2, LAW ttbe jd boring, TAX yg ala2 cetek je info yg ak ade, FAR yg seronok tp hectic, MAF yg best (thanx Pn Maz)

BEL? always best!

To Abah n Mak:
Takpela Abah, Mak.. Adik dah jnji nak buat yg terbaik.. Adik syg Mak Abah n adik takkan hampakn Mak Abah.. Doakan adik.. I really need u guys.. Always..

*mmg, buat bende yg bukan minat kita akn menyeksa kita satu hari nnt, if not now..*

My Top 15

1. T-Ara - Lies (Ballad Ver.)
2. Afgan - Entah
3. After School feat. Son Dambi - Amoled
4. Morning Musume - Sakura Mankai
5. Brown Eyed Girls - Abracadabra
6. SNSD - Tell Me Your Wish
7. SNSD - Gee
8. Wonder Girls - Nobody
9. Morning Musume - Shouganai Yumeoibito
10. Morning Musume - Love Machine
11. 4Minute - Hot Issue
12. f(x) - Lachata
13. 2PM - I Hate You
14. KARA - Wanna
15. Zee Avi - Kantoi