hati ini semakin sakit, fikiran ini semakin kusut

dah lama aku tidak meng'update' blog.. asyik baca blog orang je.. bukannya apa. sem 3 kali ni lebih susah dari yang dijangka.. paling memeningkan kepala = TAX.. haissh.. byk sgt benda n tips yang nak kne hafal..

aku rasa rimas + lemas = suffocated walaupun Allah masih berbaik hati dengan memberikan aku bekalan oksigen yang tidak putus2.. Alhamdulillah..

"Chu, jgnlah mcm ni Chu.. Ko kne buang fikiran tu jauh2.." Thanks kat Amir Zakuwan sebab selalu pujuk aku bila aku sedih (ttbe diam dan termenung jauh)..

Sory Am, ak selalu marah2 ko psl study, slalu igtkan ko utk asingkan study n leisure.. tp aku sendiripun tak boleh nak asingkan hal study dan perasaan.. Ya, aku insan yang paling LEMAH.. Mudah ditewaskan kata2..

"You know what, Chu.. Your main problem is ko terlalu care psl org.." Aku tersentak bila Am ckp mcm tu.. Aku bukan nak mengongkong atau jadi busy body of sape2.. aku cuma nak yang terbaik for my friends.. for me, ape yg penting is my friends around me dpt apa yg diorg nak, n if aku boleh tolong, why not aku offer utk tlg dorg?

"You act more than your age.." Thanks Iffa for saying this. Am I being so old by soul yet young physically? Yup, maybe I do nag sometimes, n I do PMS also.. But besides being a caring person, one need to have his/her downs, aite?

N semester ni, aku sgt kurang berckp dengan Hazuan Hamdan (my bestie for 1 yr).. Kitorg dah xduduk same2 dlm klas lg.. Motifnye ialah, bila sorg mengarut, yg sorg lg mesti sambung, then melarat2.. haha.. so evrytime before kitorg duduk seblah2, warning diri masing2 dlu.. tp, mcm biasalah, mne leh kawal sme tu.. haha.. Rindu giler kat Hazu sbb dah kurg ckp2.. tp InsyaAllah, persahabatn kitorg kekal smpi mati.. (Kitorg dah jnji nak masuk Amazing Race one day)

N nak jugak ucap rindu pada housemate xjadi sem 3..

Hazuan Hamdan (tman gaduh)
Izzat Anuar (tmn mengumpat)
Rizal (tmn berbahasa)
Zul (tmn beribadah)
Danial (tmn memasak xP)
HAIKAL ANUAR (tmn Kpop n Jpop)

Sory sbab jrg pegi umah korg.. Klu boleh, hari2 nak lepak n tidur dlm bilik Ijat, leh ngumpat2, leh borak2 smpi dgar azan Subuh, baru nak g tdo.. Haha.. Then nak jugak share2 ramen or sushi lg ke? Aku just nak say thank you kat korg sme, eventho kite xjadi nak berhousemate, tp aku aggp korg antara manusia terapat skali kat Puncak ni..

N if rumah kitorg berpecah lagi hujung sem ni, dun worry, ak xkan mintak a place for me in there.. Tp maybe Am deserve one place there, aite? Sorry for taking him from you guyz.. No intention.. Tempat untuk aku.. Urm nanti2 lah..

And for someone out there (Wondering if he ever reads this)
Thanks for keeping it a secret, and I can see that you're happy living your life.. Good for me also.. It's hard for us to be good friends like before, n yeah, I know it is my fault.. Only God knows how long i've been thinking for this.. Maybe we should just forget it and be like before.. Such an awkward feeling to see you, even for once a week.. (Have been trying to run from you lately).. Just be cool n treat me like usual, bcoz im trying also.. The more you ignore (stop me or do faces or whatever), i'll be extremely sad and live my life with tears.. again.. You surely got no idea how much i've been crying bout this.. n please.. stop me from more and more tears.. It kills me inside.. hoping that we could make it through (crossing fingers)

Happy Ramadhan! (nak sahur jap)