100 truths

Ahah! Keburingan melanda!

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: Sky Juice.. Class! haha
2. Last phone call: 'Erin, mlm ni la g the Mines.." >> Lan
3. Last text message: a Blackberry promotion by Hotlink.

4. Last song you listened to: urm Bo Peep Bo Peep by T-Ara.
5. Last time you cried: 10th Nov, waktu clearance rumah
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: i don't feel like to
7. Been cheated on: selalu but still xsedar2 lg.. =P
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: yup, in the cheek
9. Lost someone special: not yet (pheww..)
10. Been depressed: always,n i tend to fail in handling them
11. Been drunk and threw up: guess la.. =P
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. pink
13. blue
14. yellow

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: lots n lots of them!

16. Fallen out of love: yup.. =(

17. Laughed until you cried: always

18. Met someone who changed you: kinda

19. Found out who your true friends were: urm.. still the same la..

20. Found out someone was talking about you: yup! Grr..

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: nope.. I reserved my lips for sum1 special alrdy

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: meaning?

23. How many kids do you want to have: sebanyak mungkin! haha

24. Do you have any pets: Thomas!!

25. Do you want to change your name?: Urm nope.. But i can derive lots more from it!

26. What did you do for your last birthday: Crying.. Heheh

27. What time did you wake up today: 4.06 am

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: Chatting with Min-wook Hyung

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: Grad! wee~

30. Last time you saw your Mother: urm die kat dapur.. dah ugut awal2 jgn kacau die..

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my size?

32. What are you listening to right now: Sorry I love You by Lee Young Hyun

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: My cat! haha

34. What's getting on your nerves right now: my house-to-be in Puncak.

35. Most visited webpage: Facebook

36. Whats your real name: Muhammad Syazrin Chu bin Syarifuddin Chu

37. Nicknames: Erin, Chu, Rin, Syazrin, Shazz, urm.. byk laa

38. Relationship Status: waitng

39. Zodiac sign: Gemini

40. Male or female?: Rasa2 pe?

41. Elementary?: SK Sungai Besi n SK Taman Keramat 1

42. Middle School?: SMK Bandar Tasik Selatan n SMK Taman Melawati (nyaris2 mendftr)

43. High school/college?: Kolej Matrikulasi Melaka (5 weeks), UiTM Shah Alam (current)

44. Hair colour: lil red

45. Long or short: used to be long

46. Height: 5'11"

47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Yup

48: What do you like about yourself?: empathy?

49. Piercings: i had

50. Tattoos: nope

51. Righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: nope
53. First piercing: left ear
54. First best friend: nazlan eqwan shafiee
55. First sport you joined: bola beracun!
56. First vacation: hurm.. xigt
58. First pair of trainer: do i have any?

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: nope
60. Drinking: no
61. I'm about to : shop dkat The Mines
62. Listening to: none
63. Waiting on: nothing

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: nak
65. Get Married?: of corz
66. Career?: lecturer

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: both
68. Hugs or kisses: hugs
69. Shorter or taller: taller
70. Older or Younger: older
71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: arms
73. Sensitive or loud: quiet. does it count?
74. Hook-up or relationship: marriage
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: cool.. haha jawapan sdiri

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: hell noo
77. Drank hard liquor: no
78. Lost glasses/contacts: nope, but i had a broken one
79. Sex on first date: no, obviously!
80. Broken someone's heart: hopefully i didnt
82. Been arrested: nope
83. Turned someone down: to hang out? always.
84. Cried when someone died: yes
85. Fallen for a friend?: it's complicated

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: no
87. Miracles: always
88. Love at first sight: i do
89. Heaven: yep
90. Santa Claus: i wish
91. Kiss on the first date: maybe.. =p
92. Angels: of coz i do


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope. itss sinful
95. Did you sing today?: most of the time?
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: sometimes
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: SPM time.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: my days in KMM.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: yeah
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: in my blog sudeyh

Help Me!

Semalam merupakan hari yang sama dan rutin bagi aku..

3.30 am - Bangun dari tidur. Terus ke toilet dan mandi.

4.30 am - Habis memunggah barang,terus menunggang motorsikal untuk menolong mak di gerai.

4.45 am - Sampai di gerai dan terus mula berniaga.

Hari yang kusangkakan happy dan glittery ni ttbe diganggu oleh satu ayat yang ak sendiri mcm terkejut beruk.

*datang satu couple Chinese yg nk beli mknn.. pastu.. one of them asked the other in Cantonese*

"Yang depan ni LAKI ke PEREMPUAN ?

I was like.. DAMN! takpe2, maintain professional and wat2 xphm sedangkan kaki dah mula nak terangkat kat muka mereka.

Huh! Aku pakai baju laki kott.. Takkan still nk kne cop pompuan gak.. Ak mne ade jambu kott! Heeeee...

Bile mengadu kat Mak, Mak ckp cmni.. "Gi la potong rambut ko tu.. Die salah phm sebb rambut kot.."

Eee.. Xmo la potong rambut!! Wee~

Who am I?

Hari ni selepas membantu mak di gerai, aku didatangi oleh seorg gadis ketika aku sedang sibuk mengenakan helmet dan bersedia untuk pulang..

Ttbe..

Gadis itu bertutur dalam Bahasa Mandarin yg sgt laju dan aku mula tergaru2 helmet sendiri..

Aku membuat muka kehairanan dan berkata..

我们不是华人了。 (Wo men bu shi hua ren le.)
=> I'm not chinese.

Gadis itu membuat muka pelik pula. Mestilah, kata bukan cina, tp ckp cina plak.. Haissh..

Aku mula menjelaskan keadaan dan berkata..

我是 malai 人。 (Wo shi malai ren.)
=> I'm malay..

Gadis itu tersenyum dan mula bertutur dalam bahasa Melayu..

Oh, rupanya dia nak minta sumbangan untuk malam kebudayaan UM..

Aku meminta RM5 dari Syafiq, adikku lalu kuberi padanya.

That makes me ponder for a lil while,
'How much of me is Chinese, and how much is Malay inside me? Am i more to chinese or malay?'

p/s: i can't be both at the same time..

It's the Semester Break!!

Selepas sem 3 yg sgt memenatkan ini tamat, saya rasa sungguh2 best dan seronok.. (Sugohashimnida!) Boleh lepak rumah lama2 dan jumpa kawan2 lama..

Sedang aku sibuk mencuci pinggan di dapur, Mak ttbe tanya camni..

"Bila kau nak masak untuk aku ni, Dik..?"

Aku tersentak. Oh yeah.. Belajar memasak ialah satu drpd plan aku sepanjang cuti ni.. Sambil membetulkan sarung tangan getahku, aku membalas..

"Oh haah.. Adik dah bgtau mak dah yg adik nak belajar masak.. Ok2.. Camni.. Esok sabtu ptg mak jgn masuk dapur eh.. Adik nak buat cake.. Mak jgn kacau tau! ;) "

Aku terus mencapai sekeping roti Butterscotch dan trus menuju ke bilik.

Mak membuatkan aku teringat kepada plan2 aku untuk cuti ni.. Antaranya ialah:

1. Mendptkan Lesen keta.. (my L is in progress.. wee~)
2. Mengajar Syafiq Maths, Science, n English for PMR.. (siap ko Capik!! haha)
3. Belajar bahasa Mandarin.. (Ingat nak pegi kelas, tapi sbb nk jimat, ak cume download nota-nota from website, with audio skali.. Hopefully leh cope la)
4. Tidak merindui dia.. (Hah, yg ni awal2 lg dah surrender sbab asyik2 bkk facebook die.. Oww shit!)
5. Nak pegi genting dgan my bestie, Lan.. (Lan, cpat la balik!! Takya la jawab paper UMS ko tu.. huhu)
6. Nk ubah imej.. (Tungguuu....)
7. Nk belajar masak.. From lunch smpi ke delicacies like cakes n stuff (Actually ni sme dah berkarat sbb lama tak masak.. Nk kne gilap balik ni.. Haissh..)
8. Nk melengkapkan ilmu tarian.. List lagu dah siap da.. Huhu..
9. Nk menghabiskan novel yg tergendala..

Byk kn plan di atas..? Hik hik..

Dan juga nk ucapkan salam rindu n Good Luck for my ex-housemates i.e Taufik, Hanis n Hamzi yg akan stay di Puncak sepanjang cuti.. If aku ade masa free, i'll jenguk u guyz, eh? Wink!!

Juga kepada member akaun yg giler besh.. Amir Zakuwan, Hazuan Hamdan, Iffa, Alyana n the gang, n HAIKAL ANUAR.

Juga kepada bakal housemate ku.. Mimi Pipu, Wak Din, Acap n err.. Sapa eh nama die? Huhu~

Juga kepada housemate x jadi sem 2, i.e Izzat Anuar, Rizal Aziz, Danial Faris, Zulfadhli Roslee, n Meor Mustaqim..

To my classmates in 3D.. (sorry xlarat nak taip sme.. Jumpe in AC1104D!)

And all my friends in Branches.. Syah, Nad, Hani, Faeza, Faisya.. Sme la eh~

WISHING ALL OF YOU GOOD LUCK! (tak sabar nye nk dpt result.. Someone's gonna cry lah for sure kn..)

sayang Ana

Last Friday, I received a text message during my law lecture, which says:

“Erin, sabrina jatuh motor dkat dpan blok 33.”

Sort of. I ignored my lecturer and called my lil bro, Syafiq. I was surprised to know that my lil sister, Sabrina was on her way back home when I was calling. Syafiq told me that Sabrina had a severe tear on her cheek, elbow, and her left calf. I was angry at that time, so I ended up talking bad bout her. What nuisance she is, and sort of.
On Saturday, I went back home, completely forgotten about her accident. I was shocked to see her face with cottons and plasters. They covered almost half of her face. I wasn’t curious about the wounds actually, until when she opened that plasters.

My heart SANK.

I’ve never cared about her. I focused more on Syafiq and couldn’t be bothered on Sabrina. Looking at her injuries make my heart feeling like trampled into pieces. My mom told me that she wasn’t alone. She was riding the bike, and her two friends were riding pillion. One of her friends got hurt on the thigh and the other broke her little finger. But still, the worst happened to Sabrina.

I just couldn’t stop from blaming myself more.

Long Time No See

Dah lama x tulis blog ni.. Maafkan aku, blog.. aku cuma jd busy sgt sejak2 akhir ni..

hari ni aku jadi a lil bit tak keruan.. urm.. bukan apa, cuma aku sedih sbb bersaing dgan org yg aku syg.. mmg nmpk sgt ade fighting spirit between us just now.. nvmd.. sekurang-kurangnya, aku ada excuse by now utk erase feelings ni skit2..

kepada org itu: kamu berjaya membuatkan aku utk lebih menghormati kamu..

Pulling and pushing me all over

Bila dah selalu jumpa, rasa gembira sangat.. Bibir tak berhenti senyum..

Tapi kenapa bila dah tak jumpa, rasa kosong je?

Bukankah perasaan tu dah tak ada?

Lost in my Senses

Hari ni merupakan hari yang sgt dull and boring.. Nothing much really happened.. Tidak seperti biasa, senyuman aku hari ni sangat2 palsu, rasa macam nak tampar diri sendiri je..

"Chu, why u look so sad..?" Iffa tanya. Shit! Obvious ke? Ak da try my best utk senyum n riang always.. Mata ak menggambarkan semua ke? Hope not.. Klu tak, ber'shade' la ak pasni..

Balik kelas LAW, ak tros baring sambil online n tgok harry potter series.. Tekak sakit, badan lemah (maybe sbab dah lama skip meals kot) n ssh nak gerak..

Eventho jari ligat menaip keys di laptop, fikiran ntah ada kat mana.. Tuhan je yg tau..

Fikiran jadi bercampur baur.. Nak study, rasa mcm mental kena block.. FAR250 mmg btul2 mencekik perasaan n minda.. bukan ssh, cuma xde hati nak buat.. (100% malas)

tibe2 ak terdiam n fikir mendalam.. ni ke yg ak nak slama ni? mmg kat sini ke tmpat ak? if ak da mula refuse to study skarg, how will my degree be then?

*recap*
Abah: Boleh ke adik buat benda yang adik xminat?
Aku : Boleh laa bah.. Nak buat mcm mana.. Akaun pun akaun je la.. Adik xkesah..

Sampai skarg i try to convince myself that God has sumthg for me here.. Sumthg good.. Hope that will come out any sooner..

MKT baca xmasuk2, LAW ttbe jd boring, TAX yg ala2 cetek je info yg ak ade, FAR yg seronok tp hectic, MAF yg best (thanx Pn Maz)

BEL? always best!

To Abah n Mak:
Takpela Abah, Mak.. Adik dah jnji nak buat yg terbaik.. Adik syg Mak Abah n adik takkan hampakn Mak Abah.. Doakan adik.. I really need u guys.. Always..

*mmg, buat bende yg bukan minat kita akn menyeksa kita satu hari nnt, if not now..*

My Top 15

1. T-Ara - Lies (Ballad Ver.)
2. Afgan - Entah
3. After School feat. Son Dambi - Amoled
4. Morning Musume - Sakura Mankai
5. Brown Eyed Girls - Abracadabra
6. SNSD - Tell Me Your Wish
7. SNSD - Gee
8. Wonder Girls - Nobody
9. Morning Musume - Shouganai Yumeoibito
10. Morning Musume - Love Machine
11. 4Minute - Hot Issue
12. f(x) - Lachata
13. 2PM - I Hate You
14. KARA - Wanna
15. Zee Avi - Kantoi

My Day Under the Wishing Stairs

Hari ni rasa mcm sgt2 xbest.. semua xkena..

Started my day dgan klas LAW yg sgt tah pape.. Xtau nk komen pe psl mr.Adlan.. Kitorg dipaksa jawab soklan yang kitorg sdiri pun xpenah terdengar.. pastuh dy kata 'tak tau baca ke?' n ajar kitorg alphabet kat dpan.. bukan nk kurang ajar la, tp klu kitorg ni jenis yg baca trus masuk pale, baik xpyh je lecturer n tutor tu.. wat abis dwet krajaan nk byr je.. haishh.. panas je..

Next, TAX.. Klas ni sgt buhsan.. nasib baik mr.Joe bg nota.. Sayang mr.Joe ku! haha..

On the way nk g toilet, terserempak dgan dia lagi! Haishh.. Tuhan mmg sgaja nak menduga.. Ak pun wat bodo je.. I hav to learn on how to ignore, shudnt I? ;(

Then, MAF.. Lecturer yg sgt lembut dan baik (pn Maz Ainy).. Tp i was kinda sad bile dpt tau my test dpt lower than par value (wahh! FAR250 sgt!).. Cam nak nanges je.. Salah careless plak tu! Theory part terbalik, pastu salah kire overhead, salah la jumlah COWTD.. uwaaa



Balik from klas, ak tergelincir kat jambatan fakulti.. capal ak ttbe mengong kot, trus terluncur ke depan kat laluan handicapped.. shit! malu gler.. mle2 igt xde la org yg knal ak kt situ, then trus wat cam xtau pape n blah..

ttbe..

"lek, Chu.."

Shit! Alop nmpk! uwaa..

However, rasa sronok bila tgok Iffa n the gang dpt markah ltop2.. Congratz korg! leh sama2 aim for 4.00 this sem! Haip! Utk Am, xpe, ni kan bru first test.. Xpe, skarg kite menyesal berjemaah la.. sape suro tido b4 MAF test aritu.. org blaja, kite tdo.. haishh..

Knock knock! Delivery~

Special x makanan di atas...?

Ni semua sebab jasa Mimi a.k.a Hamimi (jiran rumah bawah).. He's nice, eventho kinda different from online and real life version.. whatever! asalkan die sgt2 bermurah hati..

Malu plak rasa sbab ak just bg makanan bodoh2 je, tp dy leh bagi makaroni plak.. *blushin*

To Mimi:

Mekasih!
Thank you!
Xie xie!
Em koi sai lei!
Gomawo!
Arigatou ne~

Courage and Support Needed

Hari ni aku bangun lambat giler (1145 am).. Mata dah celik, tapi badan taknak bangun.. Tekak terasa amat sakit sekali.. Bukannya tak sihat, tapi aku dah malas nak berhadapan dengan dunia..

Berada di rumah mmg membuatkan aku tenang dan happy.. Talking, laughing, and playing with my best bud a.k.a my lil brother (but he's not lil, he's 14).. haha.. Mmg ko wat aku happy la, Syafiq Chu.. Terima kasih walaupun ak slalu pukul pale ko.. (^_^)

Semalam aku tgok KBS kt ch303 in Astro.. Ade satu rancangan TV ni, talk show.. Peserta2 dikehendaki melengkapkan sajak, bermula dengan 2 ayat yang diberi..

"The ppl I love finally go away from me..

There's no more ppl I could love if you're away from me..."

*sort of*

Then every peserta pun sambung la ikut kreativiti..

Ttbe..

Aku rasa pipi aku basah..

Sbab..

Ayat from me will be..

"I know that you'll never be mine,

but what I want you to know is...

I'LL BE YOURS.. FOREVER"

hati ini semakin sakit, fikiran ini semakin kusut lagi

Entah kenapa jantung ni rasa macam nak tercabut.. Ak da jnji dgan diri sendiri supaya x lagi ingat2 kat dy.. Tapi entah kenapa, semakin ak cbe avoid, smakin dkat rasa tu dtg.. Even I don't know the precise answer.. Jelingan yang dy lemparkan waktu berselisih td btul2 wat ak sedih.. But promise is promise.. I'm not gonna cry anymore..

Hamzi: Nape la u xleh lupakan die?
Me: U ada answer? Why don't u tell me je sbab even I pun xtau nape..
Hamzi: Haish.. Pe la yg ade kat dy tu..
Me: *silent*

Hamzi (my housemate) byk bg nasihat n courage.. Yup, ak admit, Hamzi jauh lebih tabah dari aku.. Kenapa aku yang slalu nampak yakin n bersemangat mampu dikalahkan oleh orang yg I don't think deserve me?

It has been more than months since that incident happened.. N for sure, I feel suffocated living in Puncak.. Kat mane je ak ade, mesti akan terserempak pnye.. Maybe Tuhan nak duga whether I could b strong or not..

Bila fikir2 balik, mana ada anythg special pasal dia..? (Ade kot, tp only for my thought lah kot) Biasa la, kalau dah ske, smuanya indah.. Tapi better we stress at the word suka sbab kalau cinta, teruk la..

"Tuhan, tolonglah aku dalam usaha untuk melupakan dirinya.. Aku insan yang lemah, Ya Allah..."

Sometimes I even wished that aku hilang ingatan ke, atau kena pergi jauh ke.. Baru lepas kot seksaan ni.. Hmm..

hati ini semakin sakit, fikiran ini semakin kusut

dah lama aku tidak meng'update' blog.. asyik baca blog orang je.. bukannya apa. sem 3 kali ni lebih susah dari yang dijangka.. paling memeningkan kepala = TAX.. haissh.. byk sgt benda n tips yang nak kne hafal..

aku rasa rimas + lemas = suffocated walaupun Allah masih berbaik hati dengan memberikan aku bekalan oksigen yang tidak putus2.. Alhamdulillah..

"Chu, jgnlah mcm ni Chu.. Ko kne buang fikiran tu jauh2.." Thanks kat Amir Zakuwan sebab selalu pujuk aku bila aku sedih (ttbe diam dan termenung jauh)..

Sory Am, ak selalu marah2 ko psl study, slalu igtkan ko utk asingkan study n leisure.. tp aku sendiripun tak boleh nak asingkan hal study dan perasaan.. Ya, aku insan yang paling LEMAH.. Mudah ditewaskan kata2..

"You know what, Chu.. Your main problem is ko terlalu care psl org.." Aku tersentak bila Am ckp mcm tu.. Aku bukan nak mengongkong atau jadi busy body of sape2.. aku cuma nak yang terbaik for my friends.. for me, ape yg penting is my friends around me dpt apa yg diorg nak, n if aku boleh tolong, why not aku offer utk tlg dorg?

"You act more than your age.." Thanks Iffa for saying this. Am I being so old by soul yet young physically? Yup, maybe I do nag sometimes, n I do PMS also.. But besides being a caring person, one need to have his/her downs, aite?

N semester ni, aku sgt kurang berckp dengan Hazuan Hamdan (my bestie for 1 yr).. Kitorg dah xduduk same2 dlm klas lg.. Motifnye ialah, bila sorg mengarut, yg sorg lg mesti sambung, then melarat2.. haha.. so evrytime before kitorg duduk seblah2, warning diri masing2 dlu.. tp, mcm biasalah, mne leh kawal sme tu.. haha.. Rindu giler kat Hazu sbb dah kurg ckp2.. tp InsyaAllah, persahabatn kitorg kekal smpi mati.. (Kitorg dah jnji nak masuk Amazing Race one day)

N nak jugak ucap rindu pada housemate xjadi sem 3..

Hazuan Hamdan (tman gaduh)
Izzat Anuar (tmn mengumpat)
Rizal (tmn berbahasa)
Zul (tmn beribadah)
Danial (tmn memasak xP)
HAIKAL ANUAR (tmn Kpop n Jpop)

Sory sbab jrg pegi umah korg.. Klu boleh, hari2 nak lepak n tidur dlm bilik Ijat, leh ngumpat2, leh borak2 smpi dgar azan Subuh, baru nak g tdo.. Haha.. Then nak jugak share2 ramen or sushi lg ke? Aku just nak say thank you kat korg sme, eventho kite xjadi nak berhousemate, tp aku aggp korg antara manusia terapat skali kat Puncak ni..

N if rumah kitorg berpecah lagi hujung sem ni, dun worry, ak xkan mintak a place for me in there.. Tp maybe Am deserve one place there, aite? Sorry for taking him from you guyz.. No intention.. Tempat untuk aku.. Urm nanti2 lah..

And for someone out there (Wondering if he ever reads this)
Thanks for keeping it a secret, and I can see that you're happy living your life.. Good for me also.. It's hard for us to be good friends like before, n yeah, I know it is my fault.. Only God knows how long i've been thinking for this.. Maybe we should just forget it and be like before.. Such an awkward feeling to see you, even for once a week.. (Have been trying to run from you lately).. Just be cool n treat me like usual, bcoz im trying also.. The more you ignore (stop me or do faces or whatever), i'll be extremely sad and live my life with tears.. again.. You surely got no idea how much i've been crying bout this.. n please.. stop me from more and more tears.. It kills me inside.. hoping that we could make it through (crossing fingers)

Happy Ramadhan! (nak sahur jap)

Birthday present from Abah..

Jeng3X!!

Abah bagi hadiah utk my birthday! (eventho lmbt lg birthday ak)

Mmg ak nk giler mende ni....

Huhu.. best x? LG Ice-cream!! nyum nyum.. TQ abah!! syg abah sgt2!!

He's Just Not That Into You

At first, I was struggling in convincing myself to watch this movie. Some of my friends said it's a very good movie, 7 out of 10, sort of.. And after watching it, I could say that this movie makes me a lot more stronger..

I'd finally reimbursed my mind with a lot of new things, like do not be too overwhelmed in looking for love.. Love comes naturally, so by seeking for love wouldn't actually yield us any benefits in return. Nonetheless, we keep going on and on looking for something that I can say, do not reach it's maturity period yet. Yeah. Why would I think of a person who is completely clueless what is lingering in my mind? Geez.

My favourite quote :

If a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit... No exceptions..

So, rather than wasting our energy soul thinking of that person, who in return think none of ourselves, we better be relaxed and let the love comes by, through the flow. There's no need to rush. *signing off*

Intersession 1

Eh..? Die dah boleh ketawa la..

Intersession was really hard at first. Hot weather, a great distance between SAAS n college, a room at 6th level, haunted-look bed n closet, n what else..?

N yeah.. A total different class for me..

I wonder why I was placed in B at first.. Nor that I've dreamt of joining any class other than D.

New clique to cling with..

N new issues..

Friends

Time: 0218

Date: May 1, 2009

Venue: Home

Sorry for not uploading these earlier. I don’t know. Suddenly I feel like I need to write something in English. Whenever I feel like killing somebody or crying of something, I’ll try to express my feelings in English. Just that I don’t know to whom I’m gonna talk to, or even look at when my heart feels uneasy.

These days, all the things which happened have taught me lots of important values in a relationship which all human beings need to have; friendship. I finally get to understand that friendship and love is something that we cannot work out for any comparison. Love, is something that we’ll prefer to end when we found out that there’s no way in solving problems. Friendships, on the other hand, will try to assist us in any way in solving complex problems.

Sometimes, I can’t even understand why, when and how love can destroy friendships. During this semester alone, I’ve been destroying my own friendships twice just for one reason; unrequited love. Love will be much painful if it is unrequited – everybody knows that. Even though sometimes we know that by doing love confessions, it may cause a sense of ‘awkwardness’ between two parties: the one who confessed and the one who received the confession.

In highlights, there are only two end situations after friends fail to be lovers.

- They feel extremely awkward and decide to not talk to each other comfortably. Slowly, the friendship will start to fade off.

- They try to forget everything and assume that the confession never happens. They will end up showing hypocrisy in their eyes and the hypocrisy will fade. They are back as friends again.

The second one, however, deals with great pain and triumph. That’s why the number one, on the other hand, happens in major cases.

As for me, I ended up being in the first case. Yup, sometimes I miss her damn much. I even regret telling her about my feelings. And after seeing what have happened, I put a thought of having her as my friend again deep inside me. The progress? 0%. That’s all I can say. I feel so pathetic of myself.

I just wanna say something to her, only one thing : ‘It’s okay that you’ve rejected me, but please don’t stay away from me. It only made this scar deeper. It’s my fault, I know; but at least give me some space fixing it back.’

Just a short note

Thru out this hectic study week, a lot of things happened.. And yeah, some of them are nice, and some don't even need to be thought of.. And here, i want to tell a story about me and one of my bestie..

Ak knal die ni pun waktu a week after MMS last sem.. Ak tgah online waktu tu.. Tibe2 dgar ade org ktuk pintu byk2 kali kt luar rumah.. So, ak pun merajinkan la diri utk pergi tgok spe.. Rpe2nye H(bkn huruf sebenar) tgah struggle ketuk pintu umah die..

"Nape? xleh bkak pintu ke?" *bodohnye soalan ni*
"Haah.. housemate ak ade dlm ni.. tp die tido lak.."
"eheh.. ade lubang la atas tombol ni.. ni mesti bekas tombol lame kn.. jap ek.. Along!!"

*Along dtg*

"Nape ni?"
"Ni haa.. pintu dia xboleh bkk.. terkunci dari dalam.."

nak pendekkan citer, kitorg berjaya pulas tombol tu gne belt ak.. so H pun masukla umah dy ngn happynye.. huhu..

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Aku happy giler dpt knal ngn die ni.. kitorg mmg satu kpale la.. slalu suke lahar2 sesame sdiri.. n we were soo addicted klu nk gossiping bout others.. *wink*.. klu time dak TEKA takde ke, kitorg mmg akn kumpul ssme and borak2 laa.. sbab kt aras tu mmg kitorg je yg tggl klu dak TEKA pegi induction and whatsoever..

Oh yeah.. Die ni dak klas D.. Ooo.. Bru la ak tau.. Ye la da ak ni dak klas E, sah2 la balik2 farid, rudy n syah je yg ak nmpk.. huhu.. die ni rajin gile tau naik rumah atas.. nk blaja, nk tido sme.. ak pun stat pelik.. oo.. rumah classmate dy rpenye.. klu xsilap ak, nme die A.. mke A ni mmg jenis nk mkn org la.. ak pun tkot nk tgur dy mle2.. mke pun ala2 xnk igt je.. ahaha.. dalam rumah tu ade Hk, D, R, I, M.. Dorg mmg friendly.. sometimes we even ended up talking kt balcony.. sakit tengkuk ak sbab balik2 ak yg kne dongak ke atas.. dorg cool je.. *Ouch* tp tu sme mmg best la.. at least ak ade gak la member akaun kn..

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Kenangan yang xdpt dilupakan bersama H

1. Kitorg sme2 pegi mlm kesatria.. duduk smeja.. mmg best la.. klu x, sah2 ak xtau nk lepak ngn spe..

2. Kitorg mengumpat kat balkoni umah.. ade jugak citer2 antu.. uuuuu..

3. kitorg g study ssme kt BK ngn Hk..

4. Kitorg grak g koku kesat ssme..

5. Kitorg join Karaoke Competition ssme..

6. Kitorg g SACC, K-box, PAS, PKNS, sme same2 la..

A lot of things happened between kitorg yg mmg merapatkn friendship kitorg.. nk tulis xlarat la.. huhu..

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Kenangan yg xdpt dilupakan bersama A

1. Kitorg duk satu khemah kat Kesatria Camp.. time tu ak xtringat lak die ni kwn H.. So ak just bhsekn diri die as Nyah je.. huhu.. *bukan ak yg stat dulu!! hehe..*

2. pernah terkantoi ngn dy pki underwear n TShirt je.. Cmni.. ak tgah borak2 ngn H dlm bilik H.. pastu tibe2 ak sakit prot.. ak pun lari2 la msuk rumah ak.. gne toilet.. pastu, suar ak bsh.. terkena air.. so need to change lorh.. then time nk bkk loker, nk cari suar tu.. bru ak tringat yg kunci loker ak ad kt bilik H.. Tertinggal time borak2 td.. So nk xnk, kne la pegi umah dy nk amik balik kunci tu.. Tanpa disedari, ak bru je nk melangkah keluar from my house, terserempak dgan A, yg sme jugak nk pegi umah H.. Terkejut ak, trus sorok belakang pintu.. Sambil wat mke ala2 muslimah tu, tros la cover cun.. huhu.. last2, ak mintak tolong Hanis amikkn kunci tu.. Thanx hanis!! huhu..

ngn A pun byk memori yg xmungkin ak lpekn..

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tapi....

baru2 ni

ak ngn H gaduh sikit..

eh, x.. gaduh byk....

lahar2 yg die bagi kat ak sme nye berbentuk super duper sarcastic..

sometimes ak try learning that it might be his own way of joking..

but, it had been happening thru out the 2nd term..

i was painful inside..

i dun wanna show..

sbab ak tau friends love their friends..

tp

kate org sme individu ade limitnye..

ak xthn lg..

cukupla ko menganjing ak..

most of the time..

dpan classmate..

dpan friends..

dpan org yg ak ske dr last sem lg..

cukuplah sme tu...

i started to avoid you..

ak lebih byk ckp dgan A..

dgan R & I..

Sbab dorg xkn menganjing ak..

maybe ad sarcastic words yg dorg bg, but i m pretty sure it means nothg but a joke..

n u

keep torturing me mentally..

tp ak diam je.. i dun wanna hurt u..

maybe ko akan jd balik mcm H yg ak knal dlu.. i hope for that always..

n now, everything kitorg dah settlekn..

thru a 'konferensi' session, pretty much similar to 'round table' concept

tp, after all the pain i've been thru, my heart needs a great deal of time to heal..

i've been crying for you more than 10 times..

thats enuff for now..

somehow, someday, i still hope that we'll be back like how we used to be..

the chatters

the laughters

the singing voice

the dance steps

all those memories are very damn valuable..

those memories seem incomplete without you..

no matter how bad the things you do to me..

WE'RE FRIENDS FOREVER......

*cry*

Hello Dear.. Are you all with me..? Good...

YES!!

Berkat usaha ak yg tak berbelah bagi, ak berjaya get rid of my Chinese accent..
Dush!!

By the way, monday ni ade listening test for BEL260..
Wishing for the best..

Sarcastically, hopefully my pleasant accent of Britain will not abide to any Chinese influence.. I had enough suffer during my faux pas time back then..
*cube baca in British*

I LOVE Puan Nihlah for giving me back my British accent!! Muah~

*signing off*

I don't know you anymore...

Loved you once

And it hurts

Facing you made it worse

Thought you were glad we didn't make it together

And so was I..


But now...

I know that you were right

Maybe deep in your heart back then..

You knew that you'd put a big scar 'here'

again and again


I am totally not putting the blame on you

It's the real you, indeed

Hope you're happy

Always

and

One thing i wanna say..

I know you no more..........

I'm not jealous!

When i said im not jealous,

YES, indeed..

I AM jealous..

You got the opportunity to get that 'thing' more..

And you just knew that I needed it more than you do..

So, why bother bragging about it to me...??

Shuh! Shuh! Go away!!

Because

that 'thing' is

the attention or even the love from that very own person..............

It's priceless..

H-sshi
(Yeongwonhi Norul Saranghae)

Taufiq's 19 Birthday (part 2)

Written at 9.00 pm, 06 Feb 09

Ak try call Taufiq byk kali tp xdpt.. Maybe sebab kedit kot.. So ak pinjam la hp Meiy, nak call lg skali.. But, again, unreachable.. Ak fikir, xpe la.. Maybe line trok kot kat tmpt dowg.. Tiba-tiba, Hp Meiy ringing.. Taufiq call.

Aku : Helo.. Taufiq, ko katne?

Taufiq : Meiy, Meiy kat rumah ke?

Aku : Haah, kat rumah. Korang katne?

Taufiq : Meiy, kitorg kat Sunway ni.. Jangan bgtau Chu tau kitorg klua g Sunway..

Aku : Oh, OK *sedey*

(Suara ak n Meiy adalah 90% same in phone)

Hati ak cam kena pijak byk kali.. Sakit.. Ak start fikir kat mane salah ak.. Npe dorg xajak ak g klua skali? Nape? Ak annoying korg ke? Nape nak sorok dr aku lak? klu xnak ajak cakapla, jgn tpu.. Kan ak da ckp, klu kita tau yg seseorg tu tpu, rase dy lg sakit compared to klau kite xtau lgsung..

Ak just diam je.. Xlarat nk pikir lg.. Ak just tau yg ak akn masak jugak spaghetti tu sbb da jnji ngn Taufiq.. Janji mesti fulfill.. that's my prinsip.. Ak masak spaghetti tu cam bese.. Even tho some tears jatuh jugak ke pipi, ak stay cool je.. My head keeps running pasal mende ni.. Taufiq call Meiy, dy tny Meiy sentap ke dgan dorg sbb kua x ajak..

Meiy : Eh, takla.. Meiy ok je.. Td tu Chu yg call gne HP i.. Yg u pegi ckp camtu ngn Chu nape?

*yg selebihnya ak tak tau*

Meiy cakap reason dorg kua xajak ak is nak wat surprise, sbb Taufiq nk bli cake.. Plus ak tgah tdo, so xnk ganggu..

HOLY SHIT!! Nape nak surprise ak plak? Birthday ak ke Taufiq? Ak ni bad cake chooser ke? Ak ni wat berat keta Hamzi ke? Ak tido? Huh! Macam la xpenah ajak ak kua time ak tga tdo! Ak da tggl ngn korg lebih dr satu sem la.. Korg igt ak xtau ke prangai korg n excuse2 yg korg akn gnekan bile org sentap ngn korg? Korg fikir ak bodo ke? Tolongla stop trial nk tpu2 ak.. Korg just wat diri korg nmpk lebih bodoh je tau x..

Btw, janji ak da setel.. Ak da siapkan spaghetti yg ak janji.. Wat la aku truk mcm mne skali pun, klu da jnji, ak mesti fulfill..

aku xsgke korg mcm ni.. Ak xpena pilih kawan.. Ak xpena pndg korg lower than me.. Tp nape korg wat ak cmni? Ak tunjuk minat kt setiap aktiviti yg korg wat, so dat ak lebih fhm korg.. Akk xnak jd mcm Chu yg dulu.. Kerek, pdiam, sombong.. Tp bila korg da bentuk aku mcm ni, npe korg reject ak plak? Klau ak ni tgok kawan, ak xde reason nk kwn ngn korg.. Better ak duduk serumah ngn dak2 acc yg lain.. Tp ak syg korg, dats why ak brani jd one and only dak Acc kat rumah ni.. Korg lak, slalu pandang rendah kat aku.. Buta seni la, Underaged la.. Every opinion ak korg mesti xnk pki.. Reason, chu trying to be someone matured, Chu berlgak mcm tua.. Sial! Aku ni xley pki ke? Ak ni hina sgt ke? Umur ak ni pghlg ke bg korg??






Ak da xkesa sume tu.. Ok.. Klu korg rse ak xlyk jd part of korg pny life, i noe exactly what to do.. An Acc student could nvr b like a TEKA, not even a TEKAUN..

Taufiq's 19 Birthday

Written at 6.00 pm, 6 feb 09

Hari ni ak bersmangat giler.. Da janji ngan Taufiq nak masak Bolognnaise sebab hari ni birthday dy yg ke 19! Barang-barang xbeli lg.. Huh..

Tp.. Naseb baik arini cuma ada klas Stats je.. Pastu free.. So pas klas je, ak tros nek moto ngn Syahril g MyDin kat bkt jelutong.. Huhu.. Thanx Syah sbb teman ak!! *wink*

Smpi je kat MyDin, ak g la kat ruangan sos sme tu.. Ak grab la one big bottle of Dolmio Mushroom, n beli Fetuccine.. Then, straight g ruangan frozen stuff. Niat di hati nak beli Meatball, tapi sbb harga yang mahal nak mampos, ak bli Chicken Frank je.. Hoho.. Jadila ek..

Imagine 12 meatballs = RM9.80 and 10 franks = RM 2.70

I LOVE THOSE FRANKS MORE!! LOL

Pas shopping, ak n Syah g makan kat kdai mamak, (xbreakfast lg eventho dah 11++) huhu.. Then g cucuk dwet kat Petronas station..

Waktu journey balik Puncak, ak n Syah mmg best gler la.. My first experience riding on a bike with a speed of 110 km/h ++!! Gosh! Xbley bygkan la rasa dy.. Huu.. Kat Cahaya SPK yg berhantu lak tu.. Mmg brani kn kitorg ni..

Balik je, ak tdo.. (Huu.. Xpegi Jumaat.. Astaga) Terjaga dlm pukul 5.30.. Lame giler r tdo.. Then g wat laundry.. Hamzi, Hanis, n Taufiq xde.. G mane tah.. Then naik je tros call Taufiq, nk tanya balik pukul bape, but unreachable.. Ak pun fikir nvmd la.. Huhu.. Tggu la dorg balik..

Agak2 camni x rupa bentuk Bolognnaise ak nnt?

Friends? Sahabat? 친구? ともだち？朋友？

Orang cakap
'Sahabat itu jauh lebih berharga dari kekasih sdiri'..
'Sahabat sejati sukar dicari, sekali bertemu, sampai mati berkekalan'
'Bila cinta melukaimu, carilah sahabat yang terbaik untuk mengubati hatimu'

But, that 'friend' now seems very far away from me..
Why?
Don't you love me as ur friend?
Don't you love our friendship?
Don't you love our sweet precious time together?
Don't you love hearing our laughter again?

Thinking of you always....

2 Days of Chinese New Year in Malacca

Isnin, 26 Jan 09

6.00 am

Pagi2 lg mak da kjut ak.. Bgun2 je tgok Abah, Aboy, n my lil bro n sis da siap nak grak balik Melaka.. Beg2 baju dorg da siap susun kat pintu.. Tggal nk bwk masok keta je.. Ak? Huhu.. Of coz la blom.. Baju x packing lg, toiletries sme still dlm toilet lg, x bersusun.. N of coz, blum mandi lg la kn.. Huhu.. Ptotla rse cam xlgkp idup ni.. Huhu..

6.30 am
Ak da hampir siap da.. Siap pki bju yg agak formal (huh? formal on CNY??) n rambut yg agak xsikat.. Mak da jerit2 da suruh ak cpat skit.. "Eyy anak dara aku ni, cepatlah sikit!".. Ak pun grab je sme baju yg ak nmpk, msok dlm beg baju.. Oh yeah, ak jugak bwk laptop n buku statistik (nk revise la kn) so nnt xla membazir mse sgt.. Huhu.. Ak cpat2 msukkan brg ak dlm kete..

7.00 am
Da siap sme, ktorg pun grak la balik mlake.. Gne Highway PLUS.. Spanjang perjlnn, sme ad pangai masing2.. Abah drive dgan mke strict, Mak tido dgan sopan kt tepi, Aboy dgan SMS awek dy, Afiq dgan Portable DVD player dy, Ana lak membute, siap pki comforter lg.. N ak...? Of coz la.. Online!! Download sme lg best2 yg ak jmp.. N ad laa ym skit2.. Cam bese..

10 am +-
Smpi pun mlake.. Ktorg sme g stop kat D'Village Resort dlu.. Abah n Aboy nk g kompemkn reservation bilik.. Then, kitorg sme grak g rumah Mak Koh (my father's eldest sis, aged 65).. Rumah dy atas bukit, n mmg chinese style la.. I like... Huhu.. Angin kt mlake ni cam len skit from KL, kuat je.. Huhu.. So spanjg kt uma Mak Koh, rambut ak asyik ditiup2 angin laa.. Ttbe je ak rse ak lyk jd model Sunsilk or Pantene (hohoh! nnt ak g apply ek..).. Kat sne byk gak la relatives yg da ade.. Ade Auntie Im (my father's sister) ngn anak2 dy: Brian, Hazel, n Danial.. Ade Uncle Hoe n wife dy.. Ade Uncle Sunny.. urm.. Yg len tu xbpe knal la.. rmi sgt family belah Abah.. Tu la Abah, spe suruh jd anak ke 10? Kn da haywire sme family Abah? Huhu.. Sory ek bah.. Wanna know bout food yg ad? Hmm.. Mak Koh tahun ni x msk pun.. Dy suruh jiran2 melayu dy tolong masak.. So as expected.. Nasi impit, rendang ayam, n some mutton curry.. Cam hari rye la plak.. Just bezanya org yg sambut rye ni sme kulit cerah n mata yg ala-ala xnak bkk.. Wakaka.. (Ak mate besar kn??) huhu..Dpt la angpau skit2.. Npe xbyk ek? Xtawu la.. Dorg igt ak da kawin kot!! Hello.. I'm still underage kay.. Hoho.. nk kne tmbh susuk lagi ni.. Wakaka.. N then, ttbe Uncle Hoe approach ak, dy tanye ak UiTM mne.. Ak ckpla in Shah Alam.. Unexpected, rpenye anak dy pun student UiTM Shah Alam gak.. But in seksyen 2 la.. Amik Degree in Business Mngmt.. Ak ckpla ak xknal.. Dy ckp, xpe.. Klu nmpk name "CHU" kt blakg nme sumbudy tu, then he's my cousin.. urm.. Wuteva la uncle.. UiTM Shah Alam tu da cam satu negeri da ak tgok... Igt snang ke nk jmp secara kebetulan? huhu..

1200 pm
Kitorg sme grak from rumah Mak Koh.. Next pit stop is rumah Auntie Siew (again, my father's sister) in tanjung minyak, Melaka.. Journey from rumah Mak Koh smpi rumah Auntie Siew agak jauh la.. Around 45 mins bru smpi.. Ak lak yg mmbte kali ni.. huhu.. pnat taw bgun awl.. Ye la, kat puncak kn bese bgun paling awl pun 6.45.. huhu..

100 pm
Smpi rumah Auntie Siew, ak pun bgun la n turun dr kereta ngn mke sembap.. Natural beauty ktenye.. (Ade sape2 nk mmbantah? Hohoho) Ak pun trus msuk rumah n salam2 ngn sme yg ade kt dlm uma tu.. N pe lg, mkn time!! Huhu.. Ad nasi briyani, ayam msk merah n air oren.. Ak pun konpius npe taun ni dorg wat mknn cmni.. Siyut je.. Ak nk rse Chinese food larh! hoho.. demand lak.. Tgah lpak2 lpas mkn tu, ak kuar la from dat house, nk jln2 jap.. Dr jauh ak nmpk Mak terbongkok2 kat pagar rumah Auntie Siew.. Ak pun tny la, Mak tgah watpe.. Oh, Mak tgah nk petik akar Bakawali, nak buat ubat High Blood dy.. Ak xtawu la Bakawali tu binatg ape, just tau dy cam akr yg pnjg n menggerutu surface dy.. Wuteva.. Mak ckp rse dy pahit, much2 trok then Tongkat Ali..

200 pm
Move from rumah Auntie Siew, now pegi rumah Cik Chik (my grandpa's lil bro, Chu Siam Thye).. X jauh sgt, 15 mins journey je.. Ak dgar mp3, lgu2 yg bru download td.. Smpi je, ak tgok rumah mendiang Baba n Nya.. Xubah byk pun.. Just pokok mangga jd more ripe n big la.. Mak da xsbr2 nk petik buah mgge muda.. Dunno la why elders ske mkn bnde tu? Ak yg slalu ngidam jeruk ni pun xla smpi sggup mkn mgge muda.. Euuu.. Huhu.. Masuk rumah Cik Chik je, cam bese la.. Innocent mode!! Salam org tua.. then trus lpak dpan TV.. tgok concert kt channel WLT.. Best la gak.. Then tgah lepak2, time org tua g petik mngge, ak n Hazel borak2 psl life msg2..(professional mode!!) huhu.. O.. Dy rpenye da 20 thn, amik Mass Comm kt UTAR.. N tukar2 opinion bout course msg2 la.. Huhu.. Best ckp ngn dy ni.. Siap ley ngumpat2 org lg..

300 pm
Mak n Abah decide nk pergi lawat Auntie Lian dkat Old Folks' Home.. Auntie Lian ni 2nd daughter dlm family Abah, aged 63.. Ad 3 anak, tp anak dy xmmpu nk jge Auntie Lian sbb busy dgan study n work stuff.. So hantar mak dorg g Old Folks'.. For me, wuteva it is, dun la send ur mom to Old Folks'.. She took care of us ble kte kecik, rmi plak tu.. Now kte jage la dy balik.. Ttbe je terbit satu jnji to myself n Abah n Mak.. I said, Mak n Abah will never b in any Old Folks'.. Promise!! Ak msuk Old Folks', rse sedih sgt ble tgok byk org tua kt situ, cam tggu family dorg amik dorg balik, sambut new year sme2.. I mean, today's new year.. So xkire la busy mne pun, mst la balik tgok parents.. Ryte?

Waktu journey back from Old Folks', Abah tanya ak..

"Hah, Adik.. Nanti Mak dan Abah dah tua, Adik nak hantar Mak n Abah pegi rumah org tua kat mane?"

"Never la.. Aiyoo.. Paling truk pun Adik upah orang jge kt rumah.. Abah n Mak xkan msok la rumah tu.. Adik janji.."

500 pm
Kitorg balik from Old Folks' n smpi Resort.. Ak unpack n online sbb nk cari info psl Dr. Hatta Azad Khan.. Assignment drama yg kne anta dis Monday.. Dush!! Da borink sgt, xjmp.. Ak chat je on YM dgan Hazu.. Puas ngumpat2.. Maki hamun ssme sdiri.. then ak tdo..

800 pm
Mak da jerit2 suruh bgun.. Nk pegi dinner kt luar.. Ak lak cam mamai je.. G je dinner kt mne tah.. Ak xley tulis byk about dis time sbb Concious Level = 0%.. huhu.. Yg ak igt is ak mkn byk gle mlm tu.. Nasi Goreng Colloseum, Chicken Chop, n Fish n Chip.. dasat kan ak ni?? huhu..


Selasa 27 Jan 09

Ak bgun lmbt arini.. kul 9++.. Mak dah call2 dah suruh bwh Afiq n Ana breakfast n then g swim kt swimming pool.. Mak n Abah kat luar.. G mne tah.. Ak pun ngn xmandi g la bwk dorg g breakfast kt cafe.. Pas mkn, ak lak join dorg swimming.. pnat woo...

Balik bilik, tidur lg! huhu..

Bgun dlm kul 2 n packing barang sbab nk kne check-out dlm kul 3.. Pe lg, bergegas la sbb laundry still dlm bathroom, baju ade yg still kat hanger dlm wardrobe, toiletries lg.. Ak jd cam the Flash la dlm bilik tu.. Siap lari2 n ad tersungkur skali.. Ouch!! Huhu..

Lepas berjaya settle down my things dlm kul 3, ktorg sme g check out n next place kitorg is nk g mkn Mee Soup kt Tengkera.. Kn ktorg x lunch lg.. Huhuh..

Da mkn, dlm kul 4, kitorg g matriks melaka.. Nk jumpe ex roomate ku yg tersyg!! Shahir, Apex, n Nazrul.. Smpi dlm kul 5, tros naik bilik kt C5-2-8.. Shahir bkk pintu dgan mke ala-ala mamai gtu.. Tidur rpenye mmt ni.. hohoh.. bilik ktorg da jd lain sejak ak kua m3x aritu.. smenye jd cam markas tentera nk berperg.. Byk buku.. N ade la notes tmpl2 kt dinding n almari.. Xtawu la nk ckp pe.. In my heart, I said.. "fiuh.. nasib baik ak kua.. klu x mst ak jd mereng skit... Huhu.." Tp camne pun, ak rindu la life m3x.. Eventho only 5 weeks je ak kt situ, but dorg ajar ak byk bnde... Antara benda yg dorg ajar..

1. Iron baju
   
2. Lipat baju
   
3. Basuh baju
   
4. Ampai baju
   
5. Organize almari
   
6. Semayang perfect
   
7. kemas katil lpas tidur
   
8. masak maggi
   
9. camne nak wat nota ringkas
   
10. kiwi kasut
    
11. blaja ssme
    
12. bagi advice n dorongan
    
13. byk lagi.. seyes...
    

I wouldn't have known all this klu xjmp dorg kt m3x.. Mmg dorg ajar ak bnde2 basic yg ak xjmp kt rumah.. Thanx sgt2 kt dorg!! Then, of coz, kul 7pm, grak blik KL!!! thats the end of my journey in Malacca this year.. Urm.. Next year? Maybe? Dunno.. Huhu..

Am I frustrated..?

Malam ni ad klab drama, n mlm ni jugak AFTAS Futsal Night.. N then da ckp ngn Hazu, after Drama nk pegi futsal night tu.. Da janji ngn Ina, Fara, n Syah.. But, it was raining heavily.. So, Hazu xnmpk sgt jln.. Klab drama habis pukul 10.. N ak rse smpt lg nk pegi futsal night tu.. Had a deal with Hazu, but suddenly dia xnak pergi.. Tired, maybe.. Xsalahkan dy laa, sbb we're in the same class, n i know how hectic it was.. Mle2 agak mara coz da jnji, n i thot better jln kaki je.. N find my ways there sbb da jnji ngn Ina.. Tp fikir2 balik, Hazu da la rabun mlm, x hfl jln balik puncak, nervous while driving, takut sbb haunted Cahaya SPK, n etc., so xjd la tgglkn dy.. So just ikut je dy balik puncak.. Journey ktorg frm Kolej Melati to Puncak jd hambar.. Xtawu nk ckp pe sbb frustrated.. But it's his car, nway.. Mle2 mara sbb i think he dun wanna go sbb Mumu's not playing..But frustrated is more than anger.. Xpela, sem 3 pny Futsal Night boleh pergi (as I skipped 1st n 2nd Futsal Night)... Urm.. Ruginya xpegi Futsal Night!!!!!!!!!! Xpela, dun wanna fight with him.. Kan baru je jd kawan baik...?














We're best friends, right?

Why the word 'love' only comes out when you're no longer by my side?

At first I thought it is so easy for us to fade off our feelings for someone we love, especially if we intend to maintain our friendship.. Bila perasaan dah xde, ingatkn boleh la hidup tnang.. But suddenly prasaan tu timbul balik.. Why should u care bout myself? Ure care just made my scar deeper.. Dulu waktu kte slalu bsame, rasa ni xkuat sgt mcm skarg.. But ble kte da jauh, x segroup, xsame arah tuju, prasaan ni jadi kuat.. Smpai ak pun xmmpu nk tpu diri sendiri... Ak rse sakit bila kau crite bout the guy kau minat.. Always terdetik dalam hati, "How, bout me? Xlyk ke ak?".. Npe ko sggup spend feelings ko kt guy yg x hargai ko? Ak ni..? Always think bout u.. Smpi aku lak yg risau psl ko.. Jgnla wat ak mghrp lg.. Even a single short msg like;

"Chu, hati2. Ujanla"

pun buat ak derita sbb tpakse simpan sdiri prasaan yg smpi ble2 xkan terungkap.. Mmg ak tau dat u assume me as ur best frend, n ak xrse pun ak lyk utk ko, but klu dah suke, xley wat cmne.. Tp, pls.. Izinkan aku untuk menyanyangimu smpi bila2.. Biarlah klau x berbls.. Tp sekurg2nya, ak bgga, sbb ak ada menyayangi seseorg, dan org itu ialah kau...............